Hey, um, before I begin, I just wanted to say that I am pretty young. (I'm 14.) I don't normally post my problems on the internet but I hope you can help me out.
I have a pretty low self-esteem. It's mainly because apart from school, I'm good at nothing. If my marks are crappy, I feel like crap. No one ever tells me how great I am at anything and I never try anything new because I think I'm going to screw up. So, naturally, if anyone does anything nice for me, I really get attached to them. I bet you can tell where I'm heading with this. Well, last year, some girl that I never found attractive kept bugging me over and over (most girls do when they meet me, at least for a week or two. It's because I'm pretty weird. I don't think I should say how so on the internet, though.) and eventually figured that she wasn't getting through, and around the last day of school before summer she told me I was handsome. (He he.) The only way I ever start to like someone is if they like me, so I really like her now. After school began again, she was in my class, so well, she kept showing interest in me. I never thought I looked nice, but I guess I'm not that ugly. I think she just likes what I look like. She talked to me and paid attention to me and said hi to me once in a while, and really, that I guess was both the best and the worst I've ever felt. I felt really good when she talked to me or was nice to me. No one had ever tried to be my friend, especially not a girl. And well, lately, I think I'm just getting a little tiring for her. Like every other girl, she was turned off by my personality. She just didn't give up on me in two weeks like most of the others, she took four months. I am very shy and uptight at school, and when I do talk I'm always really pessimistic and sarcastic. I'm not pleasant. I have no clue how to be friendly, and asking someone how they are and what's new three times a week does not do the trick. I think she's given up on me, and it was pretty sudden. I could tell the difference immediately. It was two or three weeks ago, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should ask her what I did, or what. She'd just deny that she's been avoiding me if I brought it up. I know I might just be coming on too strong because I'm really jumping at the chance to make a friend, and I just screwed my chances. I don't know how to show a girl that I like her. I figure there's a few ways.
Being friendly-I try, but I have no clue.
Romantic crap-You know, telling her she looks nice, giving her a valentine thing, etc. I've tried that before. It just embarasses her. She has friends and family that are the kind that'll tease her about that stuff.
Throwing snowballs at her, teasing her, etc.-This is what kids my age are expected to do, but that's a whole lot more immature than I care to be. It just sounds counter-productive to me.
And also, one more thing. Um, I decided I'd want to do something good for her. She's made me feel a lot better about myself, and I want to help her with her problems. She has a pretty bad life. Her mom is a druggie idiot and her mom's boyfriend is even worse. Her parents are divorced and she lives in a pretty dumpy place. And she said she doesn't believe in God. I originally wanted her to, so things would be fine on that level between us. But I decided that no, whatever, I can help her. I believe in God, and I've made it through a lot because I've held my faith. She said that "God didn't do anything for my family". She acts like there's no hope. She's like many others who believe that if life isn't perfect, God must not exist. I wanted to show her that He does care about her and her family, and I pray for her every night. She has no idea how much I try to be friendly to her and nice to her and how much effort I put in to help her. I just wish someone needed me. I don't want anybody to be dependent on me, no, but I don't do anything for anyone. I can't make anyone smile or laugh and I'm not good at talking. I'm not a good thinker and I say some of the stupidest things without realizing it when I'm nervous. Any ideas for what I should do? Just lay off and hope she misses my reciprocation (sp)? Or tell her that I really appreciate her kindness and stuff and risk sounding pathetic? She isn't at a shortage of friends or anything, she doesn't need me. I just want someone to like me for who I am.
Subway's no way for a good man to go down
Rich man can ride and the hobo he can drown
Chibi's Board
The Gates of Horn and Ivory
I have a pretty low self-esteem. It's mainly because apart from school, I'm good at nothing. If my marks are crappy, I feel like crap. No one ever tells me how great I am at anything and I never try anything new because I think I'm going to screw up. So, naturally, if anyone does anything nice for me, I really get attached to them. I bet you can tell where I'm heading with this. Well, last year, some girl that I never found attractive kept bugging me over and over (most girls do when they meet me, at least for a week or two. It's because I'm pretty weird. I don't think I should say how so on the internet, though.) and eventually figured that she wasn't getting through, and around the last day of school before summer she told me I was handsome. (He he.) The only way I ever start to like someone is if they like me, so I really like her now. After school began again, she was in my class, so well, she kept showing interest in me. I never thought I looked nice, but I guess I'm not that ugly. I think she just likes what I look like. She talked to me and paid attention to me and said hi to me once in a while, and really, that I guess was both the best and the worst I've ever felt. I felt really good when she talked to me or was nice to me. No one had ever tried to be my friend, especially not a girl. And well, lately, I think I'm just getting a little tiring for her. Like every other girl, she was turned off by my personality. She just didn't give up on me in two weeks like most of the others, she took four months. I am very shy and uptight at school, and when I do talk I'm always really pessimistic and sarcastic. I'm not pleasant. I have no clue how to be friendly, and asking someone how they are and what's new three times a week does not do the trick. I think she's given up on me, and it was pretty sudden. I could tell the difference immediately. It was two or three weeks ago, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should ask her what I did, or what. She'd just deny that she's been avoiding me if I brought it up. I know I might just be coming on too strong because I'm really jumping at the chance to make a friend, and I just screwed my chances. I don't know how to show a girl that I like her. I figure there's a few ways.
Being friendly-I try, but I have no clue.
Romantic crap-You know, telling her she looks nice, giving her a valentine thing, etc. I've tried that before. It just embarasses her. She has friends and family that are the kind that'll tease her about that stuff.
Throwing snowballs at her, teasing her, etc.-This is what kids my age are expected to do, but that's a whole lot more immature than I care to be. It just sounds counter-productive to me.
And also, one more thing. Um, I decided I'd want to do something good for her. She's made me feel a lot better about myself, and I want to help her with her problems. She has a pretty bad life. Her mom is a druggie idiot and her mom's boyfriend is even worse. Her parents are divorced and she lives in a pretty dumpy place. And she said she doesn't believe in God. I originally wanted her to, so things would be fine on that level between us. But I decided that no, whatever, I can help her. I believe in God, and I've made it through a lot because I've held my faith. She said that "God didn't do anything for my family". She acts like there's no hope. She's like many others who believe that if life isn't perfect, God must not exist. I wanted to show her that He does care about her and her family, and I pray for her every night. She has no idea how much I try to be friendly to her and nice to her and how much effort I put in to help her. I just wish someone needed me. I don't want anybody to be dependent on me, no, but I don't do anything for anyone. I can't make anyone smile or laugh and I'm not good at talking. I'm not a good thinker and I say some of the stupidest things without realizing it when I'm nervous. Any ideas for what I should do? Just lay off and hope she misses my reciprocation (sp)? Or tell her that I really appreciate her kindness and stuff and risk sounding pathetic? She isn't at a shortage of friends or anything, she doesn't need me. I just want someone to like me for who I am.
Subway's no way for a good man to go down
Rich man can ride and the hobo he can drown
Chibi's Board
The Gates of Horn and Ivory
And hmmm I'm sorry your parents/friends don't show they appreciate the things you do, that helps a lot if ppl just tell you you did this or that well...
<3
)
