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Staying in this relationship or not. And many of the symptoms of some form of high functioning autism/Aspergers seem to fit...

I dunno Uma, I dunno where all the problems have started but I know I miss her arms around me and I'm crying a lot...

*Edit, update copy/pasted from some other board: So last night my gf gf IM'ed me on AIM only saying that ":-/" face. She doesn't reply to my long emails. I think of just trying to get the communication going and maybe this evening I'll waste my last loose change on a phonebooth and call her...and then check into the ER of the nearest hospital. Cuz all I do is cry, think of suicide and cry again. I miss her so much...sorry to whine.

*hugs back* Things seem a lil better, a lot of misunderstanding it seems, she's emailed me. She had to go see her boss today, she was biting her nails being nervous about it so I wished her good luck, I dun really think it's like a bad news thing tho, merely an evaluation kinda thing. But she's not mad at me.

Things between me and my gf seem to be a bit better. We agreed to me trying to be less clingy and in her face at times and she trying to tell me more clearly when she just wants to be left alone for a while as I'm no mind reader and she isn't always too clear about it. I did write her an email this morning to tell her she's beautiful tho, cuz I kinda got the impression she felt she was ugly or something at the end of our convo. I felt that wouldn't count as 'too clingy and in your face' and won't hurt anything. lol. Distance is an obstacle cuz you can't see face 2 face how the other feels and all but I feel it's doable if we both try...she hasn't said anything about breaking up and I've tried to make clear I believe in this, I don't want my insecurities to become a self fullfilling prophecy. I hope things will get a lil bit better. And yes I'm posting at some Dutch forums about autism and looking things up and all, yeah.